Time to Leave

Steve went to bed feeling sick last night. We did not see him this morning. Later, when we talked on the phone, he was not feeling well at all.

Before leaving, I quizzed Kevin on his spelling words. One he is having trouble with is "said," so I made up a little ditty: "How do you spell said? How do you spell said? S-A-I-D S-A-I-D. That's how you spell said." It seemed to work! He was singing my little tune.

We said goodbye to Kevin. With Daddy sick in bed, he was worried about who would look after him. Good point! If only we did not live so far away.

Grant wanted to take a swing past the condos near Karin's church before leaving town. A beautiful one backing up to woods is for sale now. But it is a pipedream. I don't know how we could manage two households...

Earlier this week, I taught Kevin how to call me on the phone. He called twice as we traveled today!!! Love it!

Grampy Arrived!

For brunch, Kevin and I went to Bruegger's Bagels and Caribou Coffee (in the same location). We had breakfast bagel sandwiches and coffee/hot chocolate. They had Christmas Silly Bandz on the counter, so we had to get some. Plus push-over Grandma bought him a cute gingerbread man cookie. Why do they always look so cute and taste so awful?!

Kevin and I went to Target to buy a curtain rod for his room. Also, I asked him to go through all the toy aisles and tell me what he wants for Christmas, and I noted all his choices which I also shared with Daddy. I did this with him last year too. He had more difficulty understanding last time, as he really wanted me to buy him something that day. Now he comprehends that he will get one or two of his choices under the tree at Christmas, but I am not giving away any hints as to what it could be.
At home, we worked on installing the curtain rod. Kevin was very helpful!

Last week, I finally was successful in talking Grampy into flying to NC today to help me drive home. His flight arrived mid-afternoon. After we picked him up, we went to the cemetery to visit Karin as Grampy had not been there in a year. We needed to remove the fall flowers and insert her Christmas/winter wreath. Kevin removed an artificial leaf from the fall arrangement and wanted to place it on Mommy's marker. Grampy suggested he put it in the crevice around the vase which we now had turned upside-down into the ground. We are sure that Mommy will like the special leaf her little boy placed there for her.


Shortly after we arrived, a group of people arrived, encircling a grave not too far from Karin's. It seemed like a Thanksgiving gathering of family and friends who had come to commune with their loved one -- a 31 year old man who died in October.

Kevin was his normal, happy self running around looking at the other graves. A couple of days ago, we found two new baby graves in Mommy's section called "The Angels' Garden." He happily skipped off asking Daddy to come with him to see the graves. I hoped he wasn't disturbing the mourners with his youthful exuberance.

When he returned, partly to occupy him, I suggested that we sing to Mommy. We serenaded Mommy with "Silent Night" then "Hark the Herold Angels Sing."

Steve and I headed for the car when I noted Kevin was kneeling on the ground with Grampa beside him.


The poor boy started to cry! He has never cried in all the times I have brought him to the cemetery with me! The tears turned to uncontrollable sobs shaking his little body! It was so pitiful! I am not sure what caused it, but he did not completely stop crying until quite a while after leaving the cemetery.

I neglected to blog earlier in the week about a conversation Kevin and I had about his class at church. He said, "I really wish I could be in Mommy and Daddy’s class at church. Mommy used to teach kids. I loved being in her class."

Our next stop was the storage unit Steve has not emptied yet. We needed to find the Christmas tree (check), the harp figurines (check) to go in Karin's curio cabinet which I took home in September. But there were other things we did not find. Steve said he got rid of Kevin's toys last year, but I was hoping they would turn up in storage. They did not. There used to be more tree ornaments than the half box that is in Steve's garage. But they seem to be no more as well.

Grampy was exhausted and took a nap before dinner with two doggies eager to rest as well.

Bedroom, Shopping, Dogs

Kevin and I spent the morning completing Daddy's mandate to "settle" Kevin's room including hanging pictures. I have been working on the project all week, sorting books (as you know), organizing his stuff, etc. He does have a flair for decorating! It is interesting to watch. We moved his dresser and unloaded his bookshelf to relocate it. I have moved many a collection of books at libraries in my day, so moving his shelf was no big deal. In fact, now that I think about it, I have rearranged the collection is almost every library I have worked in! Some people are better at organization that others! ;-)

We also moved a slider rocker Mommy loved from the guest room where Daddy had placed it in this house to Kevin's room as there was no reading chair in his room. Daddy is getting rid of the one he used to have.

There were five small items which hung or were on wall shelves in his old room (hummm... I wonder where those wall shelves are?! I had not thought of them until now!). I told him we should hang them as a grouping, so laid them on the floor and played with various arrangements. Our final arrangement was one he created!

The grouping includes a Wysocki plate of a cat looking like Spunky among books, a child's hat from Vietnam, a china rose plaque Mommy liked, a cross with John 3:16, and a painted church steeple from the area where Kevin was born in Russia.


While getting ready for our afternoon jaunt, Kevin went out to ride his bike on the cul-de-sac. The dogs escaped with him, so we had to run around the neighborhood corralling them first.

He had a ball riding through the puddle. ha! At least, he pulled his legs up.

Then he showed me he could stand on his bike without holding on. His riding skills are definitely improving since this summer when we started!

On our errand/shopping trip this afternoon, we bought some bins to store seasonal books, the scrapbooks Mommy and Grandma have made for him, and memorabilia he and Mommy have collected.

Daddy called while we were shoe shopping. We were supposed to decorate the tree tonight, but he expressed he wanted to do that alone with Kevin after I leave as he is feeling sentimental about it. Last year at Christmas, they had just moved out of their house and only put up the pop-up tree. So this is the first time to pull out all of Karin's Christmas things. He thought I would be upset, but I am overjoyed that he placed some sentimentality on the tree. He also said he wouldn't be home until tomorrow. Kevin has been missing him, so that was not welcome news. Also Saturday morning, we were supposed to go through a storage unit yet to be emptied to find the harp figurines I had intended to take home -- my whole reason for driving down here!

Tonight, Kevin was using Guinness as a pillow.

After I took a picture, he wanted photos of cuddling with Jack too.

Then he tried to cuddle both at once. Guinness's nose is sticking out between Jack and Kevin. ha!

Happy Thanksgiving!

We were invited to dinner at the home of church friends. My offering was three pies -- two pumpkin and one pecan. I wanted to wait until this morning to make the pumpkin pies to have them fresh. Kevin helped with the crust. He fluted one while I fluted the other. When completed, I could not tell which one was his and which was mine! It's not that I'm that bad; he is that good!

As we know, the well-laid plans of mice and men sometime go awry. First, I could not find a punch-type can opener for the evaporated milk (if Steve doesn't know the purpose for a piece of kitchen equipment, it goes in the trash), and then I noted the second can of milk was blown out as if the contents were gaseous. Steve was with his girlfriend and neither answered his phone or text messages. In panic, I knocked on a stranger/neighbor's door to ask where to shop on Thanksgiving. They told me Kroger, and was it ever busy! We retrieved our necessary items and finished the pies in time!

The gathering this afternoon included other church members, and family, among them three teenage boys and Kevin. Everyone had a great dinner and conversation. Kevin hung out with the teens, and they didn't seem to mind.

He was very cute about the pies; he was so proud of them, as he should be. He announced, "The pecan pie is special, because the nuts aren't thrown on."
Once we were home, Kevin was very eager to do some Christmas decorating. He had hoped to do the tree today, but Daddy has not found it. It must be in the storage unit which has not had its contents moved to the house yet. Tomorrow! But he was devastated. We had talked about using the pop-up tree Karin bought for our beach Christmas four years ago. So Daddy got it out and set it up in Kevin's playroom. Then Kevin wanted to decorate it, but the tree decorations must be with the tree. I reminded him that he had made snowflakes for the pop-up tree in their apartment last Christmas. That was the medicine necessary to keep him busy and happy.


Kevin has decided that he wants to read/sing "Silent Night" every night. I have no problem with that!

He also wanted to read some more of the "Bob" books. He is doing well at reading, but he could do a lot better if he had more practice at home.

Dogs, Thanksgiving, and Christmas

While at my computer this morning, this is how the dogs were: one of either side of my stool.

After taking the picture, they began wrestling again.


I spent an hour on the phone this morning with Bell Canada trying to figure out why no one can call me on my iPhone when I am in the US. Steve came along and took over the conversation with technical jargon. Steve spent at least three hours on working out the problem -- both with Bell and on his own. It is a problem the tech had never heard of before and consulted with Apple to find a solution. Steve finally found a workaround: I have to turn off "Enable 3G" when on an AT&T network, which forces it to use an older version of AT&T and works more slowly. But, people can CALL me!!!

Kevin and I had to go out running errands. When we returned, Steve explained my phone situation to me, and the dogs both came for loving. I guess, they missed me! Kevin took the photo.

Kevin helped me make pumpkin muffins and a pecan pie today! He loved putting the nuts on top! Don't you think he did well?

Then we started decorating for Christmas. Kevin is really into this!!! Here are some of his accomplishments:
BTW, the little cardboard house is a 3-D puzzle which he did ALL by himself!!!


This is in his playroom.

This is in his bedroom. We bought the little singing tree at Hallmark today. The angel playing the harp is the angel he started calling Mommy and kissing when Mommy died. It has been in his bedroom every since.

While blogging tonight, Kevin called to me from his bed. He wanted me to see him hugging Jack in bed, so I ran for my camera like a dutiful grandmother! ha!

But then, a few minutes later, Jack scratched him under the eye.

Memories, Leaves, Pastry, and Books

During school, I returned some things I inadvertently had bought at GapKids, and checked out what was available at Gymboree. As I paid, they asked if I was part of their club. I gave them Steve's phone number and Karin Faulkner came up. I explained that she was deceased; we changed the name to Steve Faulkner. The one clerk said she remembers Karin shopping there. They asked how old the child is for whom I purchased the clothes and how he is doing. Then one asked, "Wasn't there another one?" So I told them about Kien and Aria. She said, "I thought so. I remember that story." Two years later, and strangers remember! As I type this, I do recall going to the mall and into Gymboree with Karin pushing the "twins" in the double stroller! It was difficult to maneuver in the store. Also, people at the grocery store, who do the online order shopping, remember her well and often speak of her or ask how everyone is doing, as they have this week when I shopped. Nothing makes me happier than to know people remember my precious daughter and speak of her.

While taking the dogs out for a potty run, we spotted some huge brown leaves from a young tree. They are similar to the shape of a maple leaf, but the baby tree with such large leaves must be a sycamore. We also found a couple of pine cones, Kevin scooped up some pine needles too, and we searched for some red leaves. He created this centerpiece with his findings:

We made a chicken pot pie for dinner. He helped stir the filling while cooking. What a big boy now that I can trust him using the stove! He wanted to put the top crust on, and did it perfectly!


Then he helped me flute the edges and decorated the top.

This evening, I showed Kevin some fun Websites including the Hallelujah Chorus by the Opera Company of Philadelphia in Macy's -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp_RHnQ-jgU and a Canadian chorus doing a similar thing in a mall food court -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE. He is such a good ear for music and sings so well; he was singing along with the Hallelujah Chorus after only hearing it a couple of times! And we watched Mommy play Silent Night -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1naZ-16tBXw&feature=autofb. He loved that and wanted to see it again.

After reading a couple Christmas books of his choice, I suggested we start going through some of his "Bob" books. His books have been in storage for well over a year. I have spent the past couple of days sorting them out and finding a new home for them in his new bedroom. The "baby" books will be going to Kien and Gabe along with outgrown clothes. Mommy started using the Bob books with Kevin close to three years ago, and he was doing very well at beginning reading. Tonight, he found quite a bit of joy in reading them and picking up on the humor. I actually had never caught the humor in them until he read them tonight. We made it through about a dozen of them before his brain was too tired to function any more.

Books and Such

One of Karin's friends wrote to me as a result of yesterday's post, empathizing how I must feel about the loss of my deeply spiritual Karin, visiting her church, and her family no longer attending church. The pain is not quite that way. I love being with her friends! She lives on in the lives of her friends and family who loved her. She planted enough of a seed for spiritual hunger in Kevin that he longs to go to church, to hear Bible stories, and to sing worship songs. I am grateful for that! If they had not moved from their house close to the church, it would be easy to ask someone to pick him up. Though they are not far from the church now, it would be an imposition.

While going through the boxes and boxes of books Karin bought for her children, her legacy lives on. She gave them a wonderful foundation in reading and learning. When Kevin was 2-3 years old, he was pushy with other children, so she bought "The Gentle Hand." She also has a darling book on manners. There are several books about the peoples of the world, an atlas, and children of all colors. She bought every book she could find expressing a sensitivity to adoptive families. She has Bible story books and lessons in Christian living stories. After her diagnosis, I remember watching her read such a story to Kevin and her personal explanation of Christ living in our lives. It was better than I would ever have done! As a librarian, I knew "Rainbow Fish" to be a classic, but apparently I had never read it. I think I suggested she order it from a Scholastic list. When it came, we were both disgusted by the story. It was not a political agenda either of us favor. The brand new classic went in the trash as she carefully orchestrated what their young minds should absorb.

The dogs continue to tussle constantly. They are so happy together!!


Yesterday, Kevin announced didn't want to go to school today; he wanted to stay home with Grandma. As a result we had some tears while parting at school. During the school day, the family room drapes were installed. When he walked in, he didn't notice at first. Daddy had to tell him to look up.

Wearing his reindeer antlers and playing with the dogs.

Steve's girlfriend came for dinner tonight. Kevin got a little wild and crazy.

Bedtime came so late that I said, "No story tonight. We will sing a Christmas carol." We had read Kincaid's "Silent Night" last night and poured over the paintings. He suggested that we all sing that one, and he made sure our guest saw every page and many of the hidden "N"s.

Christmas Is Coming!

Last night, Kevin wanted to sleep with me. Now that most of Steve's new furniture has arrived at the new house, he has a lovely kingsize bedroom suite, Kevin has a new fullsize bed with matching pieces, and the queen size cherry bedroom furniture, which we bought for Karin when she first moved to California and met Steve a month later, is now in the guest room -- MY room! Kevin climbed into my bed. Of course, Guinness sleeps with me, and, as of yesterday, Jack has learned to jump up on the bed. At 2 a.m., I awoke feeling jammed, but loved, by a sleeping grandson and two dogs.

Speaking of the dogs... oh, my... they are so much in love!!! I am not sure I have even seen two dogs love each other this much! They have constant fun and are very entertaining! As before, Guinness will win a wrestling match, then roll over and let Jack be the champion.

Kevin and I went to church this morning. He had not been there since my last visit and was very happy to see all his friends and to fall into the old routine, though he is now in a new classroom with first graders with the teacher and assistant teacher being good friends of his Mommy's. Today is the first time since Mommy died, I think, that he went to the church-time program without insisting that I stay also, allowing me to enjoy the sermon for a change.

After church, I retrieved him, then chatted with old friends. He took off doing his own thing of finding friends. I caught up with him at one point, then he disappeared again. The next time I found him, he was in the sanctuary sitting on the front row watching some of his friends rehearse for a children's musical Christmas program.

He is a natural musician. It is so sad that he cannot be a part of this program! He sat there picking up on the melodies and the lyrics amazingly fast! He too was feeling blue that he could not be a part of it. I told him I would encourage Daddy to take him to their performance in a couple of weeks.

At lunch, Daddy suggested that maybe Grandma could help to settle Kevin's room. Daddy brought six boxes of books to begin the project. It was joy for both of us to look through his books! We had to stop to read several. Also many are now too young for him but perfect for Kien and Gabe. He freely offered to pass most of them on to his little cousins. We also hung up all the new clothes and pulled out all of Kevin's outgrown clothing to ship to Kien and Gabe.

Kevin picked out a "Silent Night" book illustrated by Thomas Kincaid, a favorite painter of his parents, to read at bedtime. We went through it a couple of times to help him to read all the words of the four verses. Did you know that Kincaid's wife's name is Nina? And that he has at least one N hidden in every painting? We found at least one N on every page. Then I told him he has to memorize "Twas the Night Before Christmas" this year. His Mommy had it memorized at age 2!!! Really!!! He wasn't doing very well at filling in the blanks through my first reading, so, the second time through, I told him to just join in with me on any words he did know. He'll get it!

Arriving in NC

I arrived in NC at 11 PM last night after a pleasant, blessedly uneventful trip which included a glorious sunset behind the mountains of WV.


Daddy had told Kevin that we would start decorating for Christmas when Grandma arrived, so that was ALL the could think about. Yet both Grandma and Daddy had some other things on the agenda for today. His growth chart which I had carefully removed from the wall of their former home, had reinstalled it in their first apartment a year ago, then rolled it up again but did not intend to place it on the wall until their were in their new home. So we got that up and measured Kevin: he was 45 3/4 inches last February. Today he is 47 inches.

The child who is not to be ignored opened the box of a lighted snowflake which Daddy had bought recently. He managed to figure out how to assemble it by himself! But then he needed assistance to hang it.

We made a trip to the hardware store for some S hooks, fishing line, extension cord, and timer. We soon had the snowflake hanging in Kevin's upstairs toyroom front window, ready to twinkle at passersby at nightfall.

One of my assignments from Steve was to take Kevin shopping for a new winter wardrobe as he has outgrown most of his clothes. Heather, the former nanny agreed to go with us today to help make selections. We only made it to Old Navy and GapKids. We discovered there is a huge gap between the sizing of size 5 and the next size up -- 6-7. 5s barely fit him or are too small. He swims in the 6-7 size, but we had no choice.

You can't tell from the above shot with the snowflake, but his hair was shaggier than Jack's! We made a stop at Great Clips for a fresh cut. Thank goodness we did that, because Santa was at the mall with no line! We dressed him in some new clothes and visited the jolly old soul.

Hearts Are for Love

Redbud heart-shaped leaves fell among my grandchildren heart stones.